Tips for a Successful First Date

Dating has always been hard. Even before the invention of technology and all those ridiculous dating apps. Modern day dating is, at best, a nightmare... let's be honest. The constant swipes, small talk, and red tape all in hopes of passing the time, meeting, or finding 'the one'.

And because of modern technology, we tend to romanticise dating back in the day. Boy meets girl, they get married and have children, and boom! But was it really like that? Was it a happy ever after for everyone who met the old fashion way? Highly unlikely. Which is why we reiterate: dating is hard. Whether you're on the Tinder Train, Bumble Brigade, or simply going out in hopes of striking up a conversation with someone.

But guess what? Professionals have gathered up their best pieces of advice in order to give you what you may be seeking: a successful first date.

This first date could be with whomever, even with one of our stunning high class escorts. It's merely a go-to guide for successful first dates. Enjoy the moment, enjoy each other, and simply have fun.

So, without further adieu, here are 10 tips to having a successful first date (and 5 tips to let you know if you're actually having a good date or not).

10 Tips on Having a Successful First Date

From the pre-first date jitters, what you can ponder on beforehand, and what to do during a first date, here are 10 ways to have a great first date.

1. Expectations

This is essentially knowing the difference between what you hope for and what is realistic. The thing about a first date is that you don't know the person. You could imagine having an excellent first date. Maybe it's full of fun, laughter, great conversation, or even a bit of intimacy. But at the end of the day, you still won't really know if you'd be a good match. A few hours, or a day or two isn't enough time to really know this person. So, if you're feeling full of butterflies and a head full of dreams, perhaps bring yourself down to reality until you know who this person is as opposed to thinking of who they may be.

2. Approach with Caution

It all sounds positive when people tell you that you should be 100 percent yourself, vulnerable, open to sharing everything etc. At the same time, this person is just as much of a stranger as is someone you'd casually meet on a train. You probably wouldn't dive in deep with someone you barely know on a moving train, would you? If it's a long term relationship you're after, take the time to slowly let it develop. Also, it's a lot easier to move on when you haven't told them absolutely everything about yourself. You may walk into the date imagining a wonderful future together, but this isn't really how first dates go. Also, if you bring yourself down to earth, it'll make it easier to spot any red flags. It's hard to notice someone's red flags when you've already built up this picture-perfect image of them in your head.

3. Use The First Date to Gather Data

There are big and small things you can look out for on a first date that can give you a lot of insight. For example, did they show up on time? Did they continuously talk about their ex? Did they immediately dive into inappropriate questions to gauge whether you'd be intimate on the first date? All of these things are important to look out for, as this will give you a better understanding of their ideals and goals. Basically, pay attention. If the person displays things that don't align with your goals, needs, or wants, then they're perhaps not the right person for you. At the same time, if you feel a first date didn't go well, don't beat yourself up and start looking at the ways in which you went wrong. It's merely a learning curve, and you aren't responsible for other people's behaviour.

4. Be on Time

As we mentioned in number 3, did your date arrive on time? This says a lot about a person. If they don't, it's not very fun to stand or sit alone awkwardly, moving your head around in hopes of spotting them. Not just that, but if they're late, are they respectful of your (and other people's) time? Of course there are some excuses that could be valid; traffic, a work emergency etc, but in this case, the person should let you know this in advance. And if it's you who is late to the date, the same applies. When you do arrive, a heartfelt apology is a great idea.

5. Listen & Ask

Think of a first date as an interview. You're both the interviewer in this case. No one has the upper hand, and you're both probably going on the date in the first place to see if there's any kind of connection there. In this case, it's important to talk but also to listen. It's a two-way interaction where you're both getting to know one another. Ask intriguing questions that provoke emotion instead of the same-old boring questions like "What do you do for work?". Those questions are fine, of course, but follow up on them with more, such as "What is it about your job that you love?". Immerse yourself in the situation and simply listen actively. By the way, people are often very impressed when you remember details about them.

6. No Mention of Your Ex

There's no one in the world who doesn't have baggage. And ex partners can definitely be a sore spot for some. But when a date consistently talks about their ex, in any capacity, it's off putting. They could be praising their ex, in which case, may make a person appear as though they still have feelings for them. Or they could be bashing their ex, which is also a red flag. The way that someone talks about an ex partner says a lot of about them and their character. Essentially, dating someone new in hopes of getting over an ex is not a healthy way to get over an ex.

7. Be Yourself

This may be counterproductive as we did mention earlier not indulge too much into your deepest darkest secrets. At the same time, keep an open mind. You don't want to go into the date taking on a completely different persona, as that wouldn't work in the long term. The first date is an opportunity to let your hair down and just have a good time. A date filled with authenticity, laughs, and great conversation is good for the soul. Oversharing isn't a good idea, but being authentic about who you are is a good idea.

8. Phones are a No-Go

Just like arriving late to a date could be seen as a sign of disrespect, if someone uses their phone (constantly) on a first date, you've got yourself a big red flag. We know, it's hard to take a break from emails, social media, texts, calls etc. but when you don't give someone your full attention, that can feel likea big slap in the face. It means there isn't respect there. In fact, there's a study which shows that a large number of people who experienced a bad first date was because their date spent most of their time on their phone. The best idea is to put your phone on silent and leave it in your purse or pocket. If you really need to check your phone, excusing yourself to go to the bathroom is the best idea.

9. Avoid Controversial Topics

There is such a thing as healthy debates, yes, but it's highly suggested to steer clear of controversial topics on a first date. Topics such as religion, politics, and finances are considered controversial. Yes, it's important to know these things about someone you're dating, but a first date isn't the place to talk about them. It's advised to take your time in the getting-to-know-someone phase, and later get more of an understanding about their views and background. These conversations most likely will come up if you continue to date each other, but try avoid them on the first date.

10. Second Dates May be More Important than the First

In a study, it was found that 53 percent of men and women were willing to go on a second date with someone, even if they felt no romantic chemistry with them on the first date. Interesting, isn't it? Why? Well, 50 percent admitted that they feel as though someone may 'grow' on them if they were given a second opportunity to get to know them. So, if you're placing a massive amount of pressure on yourself for your first date, perhaps it's better to simply ground yourself, see what happens, and perhaps opt for a second date?

5 Signs That You're Having a Good First Date

And now that we've given you tips that'll help you to have a successful first date, here are 5 ways to tell if the date you're on is actually going well or not. These tips are all thanks for dating site, eHarmony.

1. There's Laughter

One of the best signs of a first date is laughter. And this isn't the nervous or uncomfortable laughter, it's the genuine kind. If you're able to make each other laugh, be it with a joke, quick wit, or banter, it's definitely a sign that you're having a good first date. Being able to laugh together is the cornerstone of a good relationship, and if you're already doing so on the first date, this may be an excellent sign of things to come.

2. You're Both Really Present

Just as we mentioned the no cellphone tip above, being present means that you can really tell someone is there with you. They're checking their phone, their eyes are wandering, they're not distracted easily. They're simply there, listening to you and responding accordingly. If it appears as though someone really isn't hearing you, asking you questions or visibly unable to recall something you've said, then they're not present.

3. You Lose Track of Time

Time flies when you're having fun, they say. If you're on a date and it seems as though 30 minutes have passed but in fact, it's been three hours, this is a good sign. Maybe you both decided to continue on with the date by going out for dinner or a few drinks. Maybe the staff at said-restaurant or bar are politely nudging you to leave because they're closing. All of these are excellent signs you're on a good first date.

4. Body Language

You can tell a lot about a person simply by looking at their body language. In fact, one's non-verbal communication is just as important as their verbal communication. If you find that your date is crossing their arms, or that their eyes are wandering around the room, this may indicate that you're not having the best first date. But if they've got an open chested stature, maintaining eye contact, and there is a genuinely smile, these are good signs. Some other signs of good body language? If there is no barrier between you two, like a purse or a coffee mug, and hand gestures that are nice and open, such as having one's palms showing, are good signs.

5. Things in Common

If there is a good amount of things that you two have in common, that's great. But you also don't want everything to be in common. They say that opposites attract! There is such as thing as being too much alike. This means that having some things in common, but some others things not in common, is good. Now this doesn't apply for big things of course. We all are looking for someone who has the same kind of values and goals as we do. So just watch out for what you do and don't have in common.

Now you're ready for your first date... the getting ready stages, the actual date itself, and how you can ponder on things after the date! We wish you lots of fun and introspection on your next first date!